Ladies, it’s time to talk about the important hormone oxytocin.
Visualize being on a fourth date with an attractive man you’re totally into.
He is showering you with compliments and you can’t stop smiling as the two of you hold hands, kiss softly, and flirt playfully.
A little bit of skin-to-skin contact already has your brain releasing feel-good hormones called endorphins, and a powerful love hormone called oxytocin.
As the date continues, you feel even closer to him. By the end of the night, the two of you are ‘making love’.
Now the hormone oxytocin is through the roof, especially if you’ve climaxed, which releases even more of this bonding hormone.
With this amount of oxytocin circulating in your system, you’re now what I like to call ‘under the influence’.
That’s right.
Ladies, oxytocin works rapidly and manipulates your rational thought pattern.
Like a drug, it alters your state of mind.
It’s already got you turning him into the ‘perfect mate’ and you barely even know him. While you’re hastily planning your future together, he’s likely thinking that was pretty awesome sex.
It’s time you understand the chemical reasons why you trust too soon, love too soon, and get hurt even faster.
Oxytocin is a hormone that is released with cuddling, hugging, and of course, intimacy. This chemical release takes place within the autonomic nervous system and is completely subconscious.
Although both men and women produce this hormone, oxytocin just doesn’t work the same in men.
They don’t feel hormonally bonded after intimacy as women do.
Ladies, don’t expect sex to bring the two of you closer together. I mean, you may feel closer, but he likely doesn’t.
You see, men and women are wired completely differently. Women unfortunately tend to expect more after sex.
Perhaps you’re tired of trying to convince your girlfriends that the guy you’re dating is a ‘good match’? Do you hear yourself saying “I love the way he makes me feel when we are together or I feel so connected when I’m with him.”
Unfortunately, this is likely oxytocin speaking, not you.
Deep down, you probably see that he’s not right for you, but you’re addicted to the ‘high’ that comes with the hormone oxytocin.
Like a drug addict, women foolishly keep going back for more until their supplier is no longer available.
Can somebody say withdrawal symptoms?
Most women by nature are designed to want long-term relationships. Generally, women seek a partner who they can grow with, and possibly have a family with. Very few actually view sex as a contact sport, yet many continue to have sexual encounters with men they barely know.
These same women often come to me for advice and it is not uncommon for them to feel sad, hurt, and alone even though they are dating a ‘great guy’ and having ‘great sex’.
What’s really happening is the hormone oxytocin has them thinking they are connected or ‘in love’, but for their partner, there isn’t much of a bond at all past the physical level.
Sex isn’t intended to be a casual sport.
Ladies, you’re bonded hormonally when you’re intimate with a man and unfortunately, your partner usually isn’t – at least not in the same way.
Healthy? I don’t think so.
This is often the basis for unhealthy relationships that women create for themselves.
Before you’re intimate with anybody you’re dating, confirm they want to bond with you emotionally as well as physically. If you can’t discuss this important subject with him, you’re simply not ready to get naked with him.
Most women would much rather be with one man – someone reliable, loving and supportive.
Ask yourself, is your partner really a good match for you?
Perhaps you’ve confused a great partner with a great orgasm?
You may have shared a great physical connection, but does this guy show up for you emotionally?
Ladies, think about how many times you’ve wanted to say “I love you” after intimacy with a guy you definitely didn’t love?
It’s not love, it’s just the hormone oxytocin.
You may have associated sex with love with previous partners. It’s not your fault. Let’s blame the hormone oxytocin and change your pattern moving forward.
Let go of bad decisions in your past (aka detox) and get to know the next man in your life on an emotional level before you get physical with him.
Experience the incredible high of oxytocin with a man who deserves you and actually loves you.
With the right partner, this powerful love drug is truly the best thing out there – and, amazingly, your own body makes it!
Cheers to real love ladies!
Dr. Sara has appeared on multiple radio shows/podcasts, the W Network, Breakfast Television and CP24. For almost 5 years, she worked as the National Spokesperson for a well-known digestive wellness brand, educating across the globe on gut health. Dr. Sara has been named a rising star in Canada receiving the Generation Next award for her outstanding contribution to shaping the future of Canada’s grocery industry. She frequently contributes to large publications and has been published in Best Health Magazine, The Globe and Mail, Sweat Equity, Grocery Business, Inside Fitness, Canadian Living, Elevate, HELLO, and ELLE Canada.
Dr. Sara’s approach to healthcare is not as easy as taking a pill. The “quick-fix” approach is not one she subscribes to. While there’s a pill for just about everything, rarely do prescription drugs stop the course of disease - they merely mask symptoms. Dr. Sara believes true health requires a commitment from both the doctor and the patient.
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